What Do You Say
Do Single People in Old Age Regret to be single or not?
In a recent discussion, numerous older adults who have never been married opened up about the common misconceptions surrounding single life later in adulthood. Over a hundred individuals shared personal experiences and insights, shedding light on the realities of their lives. Here are 21 thoughtful reflections:
“I chose a different path.”
Though I never married, I had two children through a sperm donor. I’m raising them with the help of a strong support network. Very rarely have I thought life would be easier with a partner. Watching others struggle through divorces, especially when children are involved, I’m often relieved that I didn’t marry just to become a parent.
—55, USA
“Single doesn’t mean family-less.”
Despite not marrying, I’m deeply connected with my extended family and long-time friends. I use my time for meaningful activities and personal passions. It bothers me when people assume I’m missing something — often, their assumptions reflect their own insecurities.
—47, Texas
“I didn’t choose this — but I made it work.”
People often assume I prioritized my career or social life over love. The truth is, the right partner never came along. I wanted that connection but built a fulfilling life on my own terms — complete with friends, family, a stable income, and a cozy home. If someone came into my life now, they’d be the icing on an already well-made cake.
—54, Pennsylvania
“Alone isn’t the same as lonely.”
Being single and retired, I’ve seen people who seek financial stability over genuine companionship. I’ve come to enjoy my own company and the freedom it brings. Yes, sometimes there’s loneliness, but that’s a part of life — and there are far worse situations.
—65, Oklahoma
“I don’t regret skipping marriage and kids.”
Seeing the challenges others face in marriage confirmed it wasn’t for me. I savor peaceful evenings, unbothered by household demands. I travel when and where I want, sleep soundly, and enjoy a life designed entirely for me.
—61, California
“I stopped chasing, and found peace.”
I spent years trying to find someone who matched the ideal love my parents shared. Failed relationships made me fear dying alone. Eventually, I stopped trying and focused on my work — and unexpectedly, I found peace. No more needless arguments, no more lies. I’m now in a simple relationship and live life on my own terms. I still hope for love, but I no longer need it to feel whole.
—55, Louisiana
“I’m not picky — I have standards.”
People say I’m too choosy. I say I just won’t compromise who I am to avoid being single.
—54, California
“Freedom isn’t always fun.”
As a single, child-free woman, people assume my life is carefree. In reality, it can be isolating. Traveling alone is often more stressful than adventurous. Social events can feel exclusionary, and I’m often seated away from peers. I enjoy hosting, but the invites rarely go both ways.
—43, Arizona
“We’re not broken — just different.”
There’s a stereotype that older singles have something ‘wrong’ with them. In truth, we’re no more flawed than anyone else. Some of us are just introspective, selective, or didn’t find the right match.
—62, California
“You don’t need marriage to be fulfilled.”
I’ve been engaged seven times over nearly three decades — each time realizing marriage wasn’t for me. The pattern? Once the ring was on, the men either tried to change me or stopped trying altogether. I’ve discovered that I love my independence. I don’t need to ‘mother’ anyone I didn’t give birth to. I can travel, treat myself well, and live without guilt or control. Love yourself first, then others.
—47, USA
